Yes Virginia, there is a Period Fairy

Yep, there’s a Period Fairy and she’s been around since the dawn of womankind. Her job is to bestow her monthly gift to billions of woman all over the world without regard to race, creed, color or political affiliation.  She’s worked with every woman in history beginning with the beginning. Her first client was Eve. Adam, her first nemesis. She’s fluent in every language imaginable; German, Hungarian, Greek, Arabic, Caveman, Esperanto, Sanskrit, Pig Latin…if it’s been spoken, she knows it.  And of course, she also signs.

Every woman knows her, from Memphis to Mozambique, infamous to ordinary.  And she knows all their secrets. Sometimes she’s early; sometimes she’s late.  It drives her clients crazy, but she makes the schedule and despite a few pharmaceutical products out there, there’s not much you can do about it. 

She’s usually carrying some sort of food under her arm, cause she’s always craving something.  Whether it’s a bag of cookies, potato chips, ice cream or a tub of frosting, she’s got an unlimited supply and is more than happy to share.

She’s sarcastic and witty and for the most part upbeat.  She’s been doing this before time was invented and heard everything you can call her. She’s learned to be resilient. She’s the one in charge and she she’ll always have the upper hand. She might be a little spacey at times, but never stupid.  She’s been around since the woman was invented, after all.  She is irritating and pesky and can be a bitch if you push her. Women have been known to shove her off a cliff or throw her out a speeding car to try and lose her.  But it doesn’t matter. She’ll get to you in the end. She’s like death and taxes; inevitable. 

The Period Fairy knows everything there is to know about the world.  All the secrets.  She knows why the Beatles broke up, she worked with Yoko.  She knew Marilyn Monroe, Jackie O and walked the campaign trail with Hillary.  She partied with Janis Joplin.  She dodged bullets from Annie Oakley and navigated with Sacajawea. She worked with Mother Teresa and fought with Joan of Arc.  Hell, she even irritated the Virgin Mary. And as a matter of fact, she’s responsible for creating a lot of history as we know it.  From the real reason the first cavewoman was hit over the head to the reason Mona Lisa barely smiled for Davinci.

She reaches all women across all cultures and ages.  She’s a walking metaphor for the female condition.  She’s relationships with men, moms, kids, dogs, girlfriends…why women shop, why women laugh or cry.  She’s about ice cream, chocolate, underwear, pedicures, motherhood, marriage, divorce, Prada, TMZ, Project Runway and on and on.

For the first time in history, we’ve got her on film.  She’s allowed us to document her visits to women all over the world.  She shows us she’s got the toughest job out there. Tooth fairy job was taken so this is what the Universe gave her. But she has been advertising for an assistant since 1618.

She’s the absolute one thing all women have in common, like it or not.  So pop an Advil, pop a Midol, or pop a Percocet and deal with her, cause wherever you go, she’ll find you.

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